I spent $55 on pre-made food in the last five days. I got McDonalds on Saturday, delivery on Sunday, and McDonalds on each of the last three days. This is where my money goes. This is why I gain weight. This is why my teeth disappear. I eat trash and drink soda and then do it again, day after day. At this point I should know the lesson and the "dangers" and talk myself out of it; but as I've said before, this is my comfort and reward, so I keep giving it to myself.
I worked three eight-hour shifts this week. Two days out of the week I left home before dawn and got out of work after sunset. I was talking to a co-worker about how miserable that is. I was remembering to her my first job out of college, when I worked as an internal messenger in a big office building. My "office" was a former storage room, and I spent six of my eight hours a day in there. During the winter, I went to work in the dark, was in a room with no windows all day, then came out in the dark. It was super depressing. (On top of that, I didn't really have any friends beyond my girlfriend and I didn't really talk to anyone at work. So I was isolated as well.)
In any case, eight hours is now draining for me. So after eight hours - and knowing I have to get up early and start all over again tomorrow - I want to have my meals made for me and get something comforting to eat. So I go to McDonalds.
Last night my supervisor asked me if I had another job. Then he proceeded to say: "I'm trying to get you a better job, as a designer." What?? I was kind of confused.
On the one hand: Thanks! That's really nice, and I'm grateful. On the other hand: why are you moving me out of your department if you feel I'm worth it (which you just be if you're trying to get me another job)? To keep me? I don't get it. ("keep me"="retain me as an employee")
In any case, what I didn't get a chance to say is that I might be leaving soon or that I will soon have another job. I recently changed my availability so that I'm only available during second shift hours during the week, and one weekend day full schedule (which is what is required). I did that in an effort to free up day time for the other part time job, so we'll see how that goes.
I'm working today with the day labor job. NGG called earlier to say that it's 26 degrees out; that should be fun. I meant to buy some leather gloves at work last might to deal with the cold, but I forgot. Oh well. I could have gone to the store closest to me this morning but I wasn't getting up for that.
I stayed up until 1:30 last night; first time I've done that in a while - well, maybe not; I guess I just did that on Saturday. So: first time I've done that in a while on a weekday when I had to work the next day. I watched The Daily Show and Colbert for the first time in ages. I was thinking the other day that I honestly may not have seen the show in a month.
Today I'll get paid and after work I'm going to go and buy presents for my nieces and nephews. I can't buy much, but I hope to get fun things that they'll like. I just have to remember where I put that list.